The most upsetting aspect of the ongoing Delia-ruination, however, is that - much like Christ before her - she is actually being punished for the greater crimes of mankind. Let's face it, as a nation, we are eating far worse than Delia's tinned-mince-and-frozen-mash shepherd's pie. Infinitesimally worse. Almost unfathomably worse. Britain exists on a diet of garlic bread, Space Raider crisps and banana Nesquik. However, we seem to believe that if we eat Greggs's cheese'n'onion slices but watch Jamie throw together a mackerel and endive salad, we are, somehow, nutritionally elevated above rats. This is a belief that echoes the childhood theories of my friend John, who believed that, if he ate an apple after he ate a Big Mac, the fruit would, somehow, “soak up” the fat.
"garlic bread, Space Raider crisps and banana Nesquik" - what's wrong with that?